A Scandinavian perspective

Hullo

Although I am liking England, I am finding the people a little strange. Is it the foul weather that is making them so depressing? I ask myself. And so repressed.

Coming from Sweden I am very liberated, being of the bi-sexual orienteering as my friend Georgina has said. Why she is objecting to the sexual experimentation with her husband I am not understanding at all. As you English say – three is company, whereas two can find it so boring.

Okay. So the husband George, he is a dull, sexually inhibited Englishman. But he is all we got at the moment, isn’t it. She says she hates him. I say to her – okay, but the tolerating is needed if we are to be making the world go around – and the bed springs to be going ‘boing, boing’ (that is Swedish joke).

But now Georgina is also upset because of the son Sydney is on the elopement. I say to her – Georgina, do not be fretting. Divorce is very easy in England nowadays, is it not.

But there is no consoling her. I am also remembering that the boy has not returned to me the magazines I have borrowed him. All in all, as they are saying – it is the bugger, and no mistaking.

Also the brother, Hector is returning to his wife. Now he was a bit more lively. And what I am liking about him is that he is prepared to learn. But now he is gone. And what is pissing me off is that he has taken my PVC mini skirt (the purple one), plus my favourite riding crop. I am only hoping he is intent to wear the skirt himself and not to give to that bovine wife of his.

George thinks I don’t know where he has gone, but I do. And I plan to pay them the visitation. I surprise them by knocking on the door and saying – Hullo there, can anyone be joining in?

I am sorry Georgina, but a girl has needs.